Agent ShawneeThe Secret Life of a Shawnee

What is more important your ego or your relationships and friendships?

Let me tell you something wise I have learned from the stubborn egomaniacs of the world. If your ego comes first, in the end, all you will have left is that ego.

So what is so really great about your ego? Is it worth losing someone you care about?

If someone you claim to care about tells you how they feel about things you have done… how do you react?

Your reaction is EVERYTHING!!

So which path do you choose? Do you choose the higher road and say something simple like…

Crisis averted.

Now… if you don’t take the higher road, you might just stomp out any future relationship with that person.

If you…

• Turn everything they say around on them.

• Sit there and point out every fault they have.
• Sit there and point out things that never happened.
• Make excuses.
• Accuse them of hurting you.
• Threaten to take away your friendship.
• Throw a pity party.
• Accuse them of having other problems.

…you will end up hurting the person even more.

Then how do you fix that? Do you dig a deeper hole? Do you just keep saying things that are worse and worse?

What good is all this? What can anyone get out of reacting like this?

Last night I tried to express the way I was feeling toward someone and their reaction was the later. The way I felt was never acknowledged. This person just decided to tell me everything that was wrong with me instead. Then they followed it by accusing me of never giving them a chance to communicate with me. How hard is to pick up the phone and say, “Hey I need to talk to you about this?” I’m not going to say “Ok it’s time for you to tell me everything you feel like you need to communicate with me!” I can’t be held responsible for someone not knowing how simple it is to reach out to someone. Then it turned into excuses such as “I have a stressful job.” I have stress and problems too that doesn’t make it ok to ignore someone.

At that point I had enough. There is no reason I should sit there and listen to that bullshit from anyone just because they didn’t like how I was feeling towards them. So I told them they could have the whole project that was my idea in the first place (Which is not an easy thing to give up! That’s just how irate I was at this person!) and went to bed.

I woke up to an email with a title…

Really? Me? It takes two to tango and my feet kept getting stepped on so why should I stay on the dance floor?

The email contained a threat to end our friendship if I walked away from this project.

Would you stick around if you got that reaction because you told someone you felt left out of a project that was your idea in the first place?

I can’t fix this. This person has dug themselves to deep of a hole and I am not going to pull them out of it. I now still feel the way I felt when I first tried to communicate the problem and extremely disappointed in the way they handled them selves. This makes me wonder how they will handle them selves if this project were to blow up and they have to deal with the public saying way worse things.

The more I think about this fucked up situation the more I wonder if seeing this person in person is a good idea. I might blow a fuse and give them a verbal lashing. No, I know I would if they said any of the things they said online to me in person. That’s a side of me I do not like and I would hate to see it brought down upon someone.

I think I should just clear my mind of this problem and let this person figure out how to make it better.

♥ Shawnee

There is this loser who talks shit about me because I blog saying that makes me self centered. Well I saw him working the other day and he has a picture of himself on his nametag. The name tags are customizable and he had them make one with his mug on it… I’m self centered? What an asshat! So here is my letter to the asshat

Dear Asshat,

Love,
Shawnee

Peace!
♥ Shawnee

*Note* Yeah I rant on my blog and I don’t really give a damn if I offend anyone. I don’t use names and it’s my way of letting off so steam. So if you can’t handle is go cry to your mama cuz the Shawnee don’t give a damn

I am soooooo tired of people who are not considerate of their friends feelings and interests.

I have this friend and I swear to god she is the most selfish person ever and I can’t handle it any more. She invites me to crap SHE wants to do and flakes. We almost never ever do anything I want to do and when we do she either has to leave right away because she has other plans or bitches the whole time. In other words she finds a way to make it ALL about her.

Yes I’ve written about this problem before and she read it and what did she do? She bought me something and continued to act EXACTLY the same! That makes no sense to me. Material things DON’T fix your problems with people. They just make them feel a little better for a moment. Like oragel… You put it on your throbbing tooth and of course it feels good for a moment but the cavity is still there.

Like when we went to the Melting Pot. I was soooooooo excited they opened one here so I tried to get my friends together to go. I told her WEEKS in advance and what happens? We go to pick her up and she’s like “Ok but we have to be done by such and such time because I have plans with my boy friend to see a movie.” Really? You can see a movie anytime it will be in theaters a while. You DON’T have to cut my plans short because you can’t stay away from your boyfriend for a few hours. Then she proceeded to bitch about the prices and how tired she was. If you go somewhere and don’t want to spend money on the food get something small and shut up. Don’t bring everyone else down about it.

Then there was my birthday. MONTHS before my birthday I told her I REALLY wanted to go to Disney Land and she said ok. Then when the weeks before arrived it turned into “Oh I dunno if I can get the time off” even though she could have damn well gotten it off for sure. It’s not that hard when you request it in advance. Then she agreed to go with me and her boyfriend a few days before my bday. Then she calls me the day before and cancels on me because she can’t handle issues with her boyfriend and because she doesn’t have a lot of money. Why agree to do something if you know you are not going to do it? Oh but it gets worse! I invite her to lunch with my other friend and what do I get to do after lunch with them? Watch her spend money at the mall!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO BEING TOO BROKE?!?!! Fucking selfish people I swear!!!

So one day she texted me inviting me to the Hello Kitty MAC launch because she said she knows how much I love Hello Kitty. I was surprised she actually wanted to do something I would want to do. Even though I was hesitant to go because I was broke (and really upset about my money situation) I decided to go because she seemed to be actually doing something for me. Nope. She didn’t even RSVP like the invite told her to do. WTF? If it says to RSVP and you want to go you RSVP. Then she didn’t get the time right. She said it would be at 2PM but we went there and she found out it was at 8PM and this is what she said “Well I will be to tired to go then so you can go by your self if you want.” Which I couldn’t even do because she put her name on the list and not mine.

I invited her over for a girls night the other night. A girls night! Not “I’m going to do your hair and cater to you night.” So she comes over telling me she will “let me” cut her hair?! WTF it’s my fucking trade no one “lets me” cut their hair on a night I just want to kick back. Then I tell her if I cut it I have to finish it dry because thats the way hair cuts SHOULD be finished and I’m not going to let someone walk around with a half ass hair cut telling people I do it. So she bitches about that and her damn schedule. I sleep in on my day off and I really don’t enjoy people expecting me to get out of bed and do shit for them that we could have done some other time when we didn’t have a girls night planned. Or if she would have at least ASKED me to do it nicely instead of “letting” me do it. That’s just fucked up and rather rude.

There are plenty of things I want to do that we never do. Like I’ve been dying to go to the restaurant that my crush works at which is RIGHT BY her work and of course that hasn’t happened and will NEVER happen. Why? Because she ONLY cares about her self.

So today we were supposed to go see a movie with her mom. I called her at like 12:30ish in the afternoon yesterday and asked her to text me the details. Her idea of details is “There is a show at 1:30.” No location or if we are actually going. So I sent her a text when I got off work telling her I need the details of exactly when and were I need to be so I know what time I need to get up and be on the bus by. What do I get? “There is a showing at 1:30 at Del Amo.” So I texted her asking if we are actually going to that showing. No response. So I texted her later and said “Ok have fun tomorrow because I will not be flaked on again.” I know that was a bit rude but considering her track record it was called for. I don’t want to get up and get ready for something that wont even happen. Nor did I want to take a bus somewhere for no reason. It really is a waste of money and my time.

I am seriously livid at this person. I’m not going to put up with this bull shit. I am out of her life for now and if she wants to make it better she is going to have to do something damn special and not selfish (and no I don’t mean buying something or throwing money at the problem) until then I am not going to call her, talk to her, or do her hair.

Then there is another friend… Who is not selfish but a bit flakey. It really bothers me that whenever she has a man in her life or whatever she totally drops all her friends. Then when she is feeling lonely and not wanting to drink she blogs about how she needs her friends right now. Really? Because you don’t seem to need us when you are fucking or dating someone. I was there for her when she first quit drinking. I opted to spend time with her doing non drinking things than going out and what happened? She just stopped calling me after she was seeing a guy or two. So I wont be waiting in line to help her when she needs someone to lean on.

Ok I am done bitching.

Peace!
♥ Shawnee

This is going to be one short and sweet blog.

I really don’t think anyone has the right to talk/blog/bitch about politics when they are not educated.

The following statement is NEVER OK!

People say a lot of shit! At least make your own damn opinions based on facts and NOT on gossip.

Ok I’m done.

♥ Shawnee