Getting the Ladies « Agent Shawnee

Getting the Ladies

Getting the Ladies — No Comments
4
Dec 09

Pajama Gram… LAND SHARK!!!!!!

(obscure joke ask your parents)

Do you want to tell someone you want to sleep with them but don’t know how?! Well let me help you on your quest! Send them a Pajama Gram! (Or you can just send one to someone who needs them) You can get a gem just like this one!

“Is she as can be…but saws logs like a lumberjack? Make her laugh with our funny Slumber Jack Pajamas featuring the softest flannel pants in the classic black and red lumberjack plaid paired with a long-sleeved gray T-shirt with saw and timber artwork that reads, ‘Slumber Jack. Sawing Logs Nightly’.”

These make a great Christmas gift and might just get you lucky! So get to it!

Order a Pajama Gram

♥ Shawnee

Getting the Ladies — 1 Comment
9
Sep 09

I was going to write another guide to the ladies…

Then I found this!!!

“Ever forgot you girlfriend’s birthday? Problem solved. What about an anniversary? Does she simply get upset because you don’t talk to her enough?

With the humorous Girlfriend iPhone app (and possibly the answer to life, even at $0.99), all of these problems are solved. Here is a user testimonial to prove our point:

“My first three wives divorced me because I always forgot anniversaries. I am pretty sure my fourth marriage will work thanks to the Girlfriend app?” Mark, 22

This application allows you to set up automated text messages or emails to be sent to your significant other based on your specified criteria such as “Relationship Seriousness” and how often you would like to (or are expected to) communicate. Messages will be sent based on your criteria (every two hours to once a month) and will be randomly generated and sent based on your relationship seriousness level. Messages will possibly be humorous but never vulgar. Out database contains thousands of messages, enabling messages to constantly be fresh and original and signed with your name. Our system enables your significant other to respond to the message and the response will be sent to your email address.

In addition, we have an “Advanced Settings” feature, which enables you to enter relationship and personal information such as anniversary dates, birthdays, and even eye color. This way, you will never miss another date and your messages will be very specific. Example texts are shown below:

“I just drove by a brown barn and it reminded me of your eyes.”

“Did you know we started dating 37 days and 8 hours ago?”

There is a history feature as well, which lets you see what messages have been sent to your significant other and when so you are not thrown off guard if they come up in casual conversation.

In conclusion, forget male enhancement and steroids, all you really need is the Girlfriend iPhone app and your relationship health and sexual activity will increase significantly!

If you have purchased Girlfriend Keeper and have ideas or would like to contact us, please feel free to email support [at] girlfriendapp [dot] com. Thanks!”
-The Girlfriend Keeper site

Want to hold onto the girl of your dreams? Yeah there’s an app for that.

Buy the Girlfriend Keeper App

Want some real girl advice? Check out my “Guide to the Ladies” series!!!

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Why nice guys FINISH first!

♥ Shawnee

Getting the Ladies — No Comments
18
Apr 09

Shawnee’s Guide to Getting the Ladies Part 3?

More Reads:

Shawnee says “Nice guys finish FIRST!” and an American Girl learns to pole dance!

Shawnee’s Guide to Getting the Ladies Part 1

Shawnee’s Guide to Getting the Ladies Part 2

So we have gone over the chase and the catch. We have covered what to do beyond the second date.

Maybe now I’m thinking we need track back a bit to go over how to get past the first conversation.

Now don’t get me wrong I LOVE men but… seriously… sometimes… it’s just like… I want to ask them if they have had head trauma in the past 48 hours.

No matter how you start talking to a girl be it at a coffee shop, bar, work, the gym, book store, or even the internet. You need to conduct your self so you don’t come across as a loser automatically. Let her find out AFTER you get her trapped in committed relationship.

A lot of us ladies react heavily on vibes and how we feel when we first start talking to a person. If you want respect from a woman or her to have interest in you beyond your pants you need to avoid the following SINS like the PLAGUE!

No Judging! Don’t judge the girl (out loud), don’t judge the guy sitting across the table, don’t judge a celebrity, don’t judge your family, your boss, DON’T JUDGE ANYTHING It’s cool that you have an opinion but when you go around spewing your judgement like word vomit the minute you meet someone, most likely they will think you are judgemental and lose interest very quickly.

Name Dropping No girl likes a guy who constantly talks about who he knows, who he has met, and who he is obsessed with. We probably wont believe you anyway even if it’s true. People who actually know important people tend to think it’s no big deal. Someone who saw Jessica Simpson from across a crowded restaurant as she walked into the VIP room is often the person who proclaims they “know” her during the first 15 min of your first conversation with them. No girl wants to feel like she is being lied to.

Party Aminals! “Where do you party?” “Where do you drink?” “What clubs do you go to?” Ok this is no way to start off getting to know someone. What goes on in a girls mind when she hears those sentences? What goes on in your mind when that is the first thing a girl asks you? What do you think of her? She parties a lot? She’s a heavy drinker? She’s a slut? Is that the kind of girl you want to date? Or just hook up with? I know the answer to that one. So if you are looking to just hook up with a girl these questions are fine. If you actually want a girl to like you I suggest you keep the party animal in it’s cage for the first conversation.

Really you just need to be nice! Then you’ll be in the clear rather painlessly. I don’t know why that’s so hard to grasp.

♥ Shawnee

Getting the Ladies — No Comments
22
Mar 09

Shawnee says “Nice guys finish FIRST!” and an American Girl learns to pole dance!

So I am really tired of this “nice guys finish last” business. It’s not true! I have proof!!!!!!

Every nice guy I know is either scooped up by someone or is just not in that place in his life but has many admiring girls. So yeah every nice guy I know has done pretty damn good for himself.

So where does this “nice guys finish last” mentality come from? Oh I’ll tell you…

There a group of men who proclaim to be nice guys. They love to constantly remind you that they are indeed nice guys even though they have done nothing to prove it and you aren’t even bringing up the subject. It’s like a criminal really…

Random Criminal, “I had nothing to do with that car being stolen!”

Taco Bell Employee, “I just asked if it was for here or to go….”

See the comparison? It is also widely known that these guys are simply… full of shit.

I must admit though there are TWO kinds of “nice guys” who don’t have game.

1. The shy guy:

This is the nice guy who will take a girl out to dinner or to a movie but that’s as far as he gets. This guy almost always ends up in the friend category and is over looked as a potential lover. Why? Because the guys got no game! He doesn’t make a move on a girl most of the time we will think he is not interested . More often than not the shy guy a bitter taste in his mouth after many of these encounters but he never blames him self. It is always the girl’s fault. This usually takes said nice guy and moves him into the not nice guy category.

2. The hopeless guy:

This is the nice guy who gets hung up on one particular girl and drives himself insane. He does not realize that there are more fish in the sea and that girl is just not the one for him. So he shuns off many great girls and soon also drifts out of nice guy pond into the big loser lake. Why? Because girls no longer see him as a sweetheart and see him as a pathetic loser who isn’t worth their time. Being in love or having a uber crush is no reason to blow off other girls. Don’t date and take some time to get over it and stop leading on other girls then admitting to them later you are in love with some other girl.

So yeah nice guys don’t finish last…. self-proclaimed nice guys finish last! Also most nice guys just finish being nice guys because they do not know how to handle themselves.

On a completely different subject I was at best buy today digging through the cheap DS game bin and I came across this game…

And people give Miley guff for her silly myspace pictures! Isn’t this girl a little young to be pole dancing?

Peace!
♥ Shawnee

Agent ShawneeThe Secret Life of a Shawnee